tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13516529324056846172024-02-19T03:06:20.478-05:00Life - by the seat of my pantsThoughts, interesting tidbits and insight into my daily life. I am a Navy wife, mother, personal trainer,art journaler, bellydancer,and pagan. Here you will find rants, raves and everything in between. This is life, as I see it.Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-76801465555544428202011-05-29T20:24:00.000-04:002011-05-29T20:24:42.210-04:00I've moved!Due to technical issues with Blogger, I have decided to move my blog over to Wordpress. Please follow me on over! I *would* insert a click-able link, but those darn Blogger issues won't allow me to. Unfortunately, you will have to copy/paste <br />
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http://lifebytheseatofmypants.wordpress.com/<br />
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into your browser. <br />
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Sorry for any inconvenience, but I know you will understand :) See you over at Wordpress!Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-37930989243974632752011-05-29T18:32:00.006-04:002011-05-29T19:28:56.291-04:00Getting deep in my art journalFor almost a year now I have been on a journey. Ackschully, several journeys, but that is another story. The journey I speak of now is with my art journal. <br />
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I first heard the term “art journal” from my dear friend Effy Wild. (You may know her as the den mama from the fabulous Wild Precious.) <br />
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At first she was just talking about this art thing she was doing and I thought it sounded cool, but I didn’t think of myself as an artist, so I didn’t bother to check it out. THEN, she started sharing photos. THAT got my attention. She was showing such amazing pages and yet she still just called it PLAYING. How could such beautiful work, be play??? I decided I HAD to learn more about art journaling.<br />
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Effy has been an inspiration to me this entire year, sharing new techniques, praising fellow journalers, linking videos and even creating a home and community for kindred souls to connect and share our stories. <br />
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I have never been one to think of myself as an artist, but that is starting to change. I am absolutely comfortable calling myself an “art journaler” and that is in great part to the family I have made at Wild Precious. The women I have met there are all inspiring, uplifting and kind and I am truly grateful for them in my life.<br />
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Effy has made sure that the site is well rounded and there is something for everyone. Along with art journaling prompts and videos, there is a photography group, a poetry group and even mandala making! Every group is healing in some way and Effy’s newest baby is sure to be no less than powerful. Beginning July 1 (registration begins June 1) Effy will present her very first art e-course called The Elements of Art Journaling. I am so excited! She is even offering one lucky creative a FREE spot! <br />
<a href="http://wildprecious.com/blog/elements/"></a><br />
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Even though Effy is very much about the glitter, she is also very much about the deep and this course is all about the deep. It is going to take your soul on a journey through all five elements, Earth, Air, Water, Fire and Spirit and Effy will be there to guide you the entire way. I cannot WAIT to sign up for this course! I feel like I have just begun to scratch the surface of my inner deep and I need this course to push me even further. I want to be able to dive straight to my core and leave it all on the page. I still feel like I am holding back in an effort to make my pages "pretty" or "perfect" and, knowing Effy the way I do, I know this course will help me push past those boundries and get to my inner deep.<br />
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I will be at Wild Precious on June 1 with bells on. I hope to see you there!Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-62718490387439536322011-04-03T02:59:00.000-04:002011-04-03T02:59:43.156-04:00Thank you's and updatesSince I posted about returning to the States several people have left me comments, and THANKFULLY they told me about the comment in another forum.<br />
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For MONTHS now I have been receiving comments and I had NO idea! When I moved to Bahrain I had to change my email address and even though I changed it for my Blogger account, I didn't realize I needed to change it for my email notifications as well.<br />
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For everyone who has left me a comment that I have not previously responded to... THANK YOU. I appreciate your kind thoughts, words of support and encouragement. I have now corrected the email address and will be able to respond when you actually LEAVE a comment, rather than six months later :D<br />
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Now, for an update on family life. <br />
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Christopher and I will be leaving Bahrain in one week. Chris is in the Navy, so he will be stationed here until December when his orders are up. He can not move until that time. Christopher and I will not be able to return before December, so once we leave, we will be gone for good. Chris is planning a trip home sometime this summer so that we can have a few weeks together mid way through our time apart. <br />
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I am not happy to be leaving, but I have accepted it and I am looking at it from a positive perspective. I am going to miss everyone here, but I am looking forward to many things back in the States as well. <br />
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I am going to make the most of the time I have left here in Bahrain and make as many memories as possible <3<br />
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We had a cookout and family game day with friends and family and we are planning to do it again next weekend. Today I am hanging with my cousin's wife (they are also stationed here.) She is interested in art journaling so I am passing on lots of the supplies I will not be able to take with me and we are going to the art store to get her a journal :D<br />
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Tonight we will all be taking a trip to the pet store to help the cousin's find new puppy goodies. <br />
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It's going to be a good week <3Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-71382936086737378122011-03-31T03:45:00.000-04:002011-03-31T03:45:19.080-04:00Heartbroken and disappointedAs you know I am currently in Bahrain with my husband and son. The situation here has been precarious to say the least and some days it has been downright scary. <br />
For weeks now, there have been tanks on every corner and masked men with guns everywhere. While coming out of the grocery store Christopher and I were affected by tear gas in the air. I don't recommend it. Due to having a tourist passport, I am supposed to leave the country for a few hours every 28 days to renew my visa. Normally that would not have been a problem, but with travel restrictions, we are concerned about being able to get back home on any given day. I was supposed to fly to Dubai last weekend, but because of protests, we were on lock down and told not to go near the airport at all.<br />
Chris and I have been discussing the possibility of myself and Christopher returning to the States. Many factors have come into play here and we have finally made a decision.<br />
I have decided to leave Bahrain and go back to Virginia and I am devastated. My heart is breaking and some days I feel like I can't breathe. I have been crying for days and I am still not sure I have made the right decision. I have never been torn like this on any decision in my entire life. I have always been indecisive, but when it comes to major life decisions, I ALWAYS know what I want. I go with my gut. This time, it is not that easy. <br />
I want to stay here with my husband, but I have to think of my son. He and I are literally couped up in our house for days or weeks at a time. We are not allowed to go out in town and many places are closed or off limits. Essential travel only is recommended. My son, who is a social butterfly, has not been able to make friends because there are no friends to be found. I wouldn't let him out of my sight even if there were. He is homesick and WANTING to leave. <br />
I am also tired of being stuck at home all the time and feeling unsafe. I do miss my friends and family, but I would be willing to suck all of that up to be able to be here with Chris.<br />
We were supposed to be here until August and Chris is not due home until December. I have to separate and uproot our lives once again and it kills me. I am not ready to leave yet. <br />
I am still torn and wondering if we have made the right decision. <br />
This has been a roller coaster of a year and I feel like I am plummeting to the end. <br />
I am completely heartbroken and disappointed :*(Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-47174041863981929252011-03-25T07:01:00.000-04:002011-03-25T07:01:16.640-04:00Art is My MeditationLife here in Bahrain has not been very enjoyable lately. Due to protests and violence we have basically been on lock down. We have been advised to stay home and stay away from any 'activity.' Since I am not sure what I am allowed to say I have not been online much and I have to keep many thoughts to myself when I am online. I hate having to censor myself in this way, but our safety is more important than my opinion.<br />
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The upside to being couped up in my house is that I have had a good bit of time for arting :)I spend hours playing with paint, collage, stamps and gel medium.<br />
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Art is my meditation. My brain slows down,I am able to relax and I just lose myself in the process. <br />
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Art journaling has given me so much more than I ever could have expected. I never thought I would learn so much about who I am. I never thought I would heal so many wounds or experience so much forgiveness. My eyes and my heart are open and I am changing. I am learning to fogive myself for things that I have done, but more importanly, for things that I had no control over. I am learning to accept myself and love myself and I never thought that was possible. <br />
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My skills improve with every page and my creativity is really starting to blossom. I find myself thinking of new ideas all through out the day and I have several projects in mind for the coming months. The first of those projects is an altered book that I will begin working on today. It will be a tribute book using several techniques that are new to me. I will post pics to share my progress.<br />
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I also got an email with some VERY exciting art news, but I have to wait a few more days before I can share that secret. <br />
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On a side note,I have finally linked my blog to my Flickr account. Now all of my images can be viewed in one convenient spot :D<br />
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Now, I am off to work on my altered book!Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-24104796808350426082011-02-09T04:46:00.000-05:002011-02-09T05:06:31.322-05:00Discovering My TruthIt has been MONTHS since I last blogged and so much has happened! <br />
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Since moving to Bahrain I have had very little time for arting, much less blogging. Not for lack of desire, but lack of time. <br />
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Short recap...<br />
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As soon as I arrived in Bahrain, we were on the hunt for a new flat. The apartment was great, but it was not quite big enough and walking the dogs five times a day was a bit of a hassle. <br />
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Once we found our villa we started packing and preparing to move. The week we moved we also had car repairs, move out cleaning and inspections, new home shopping AND move in cleaning and unpacking to do. On top of all of that, I am home schooling Christopher for the first time which in its self is a full time job!<br />
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*WHEW* <br />
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I was so busy, but I still felt like I was forgetting something. Then it hit me...I was missing my art. I missed sitting down and just losing myself in the page. I have discovered that I NEED that. I didn't think I needed art, but the truth is... I do. I need art.<br />
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I have been working with truth alot this week. I am a member of the wild precious ning site (see link below) and one of the workshops I am currently involved in is called "The Truth Project." This workshop is all about discovering *your truth* on many different levels. <br />
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We are just finishing week one and I cannot believe how intense this first week was. I cried, I recoiled and I tried to run away from the deep issues that rushed to the surface. I did not want to answer the questions that were posed and I had no intention of sharing my dark side. Then about half way through the week I had a break through. I decided to open up, be honest with the group and more importantly, with myself. I did show my dark side, I did talk about painful subjects and I started looking for my truth. To be honest, I had NO idea what my truth was.<br />
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I started turning my 'blurts' into affirmations and I have been working diligently to silence my inner critic. <br />
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The prompt for the week was to art your truth. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do, but I did have the spark of a vision. When I first started the page I was so unhappy with it and I had to just let it sit. I felt like I needed to make it 'perfect.' I felt like it needed to be... more. I let it sit for two days before I went back to work on it again. When I started working on it again, I could see it slowly coming together and I knew it was right. It was perfect for me. It was my truth. <br />
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My truth is I have an extremely distorted view of myself. It's like I have on self hatred goggles. The truth is I need to take these goggles off. I need to see myself as I truly am and love what I see, no matter what.<br />
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If you are interested in discovering your truth, art journaling, poetry or any other form of artistic expression check out <br />
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http://wildprecious.ning.com/Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-78915886496571548502010-11-09T17:09:00.000-05:002010-11-09T17:09:08.294-05:00Ignorant people PISS me off!!!I know there is a word or phrase to describe ignorant, closed minded, intolerant mother fuckers, but it escapes me at the moment.<br />
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People who were raised to believe that the world owes them something or is against them simply because of the color of their skin, income level or lack of education. And the worst part is, they are passing this bull shit mentality on to their children! If you WANT change MAKE change! If you want the world to treat you better then you need to DESERVE to be treated better! Don't pull that bullshit card out at every opportunity simply because YOU haven't made a better life for YOURSELF!!! <br />
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And if you want your kids to think differently TEACH them differently, SHOW them differently, make them BELIEVE differently! Don't let them spew the same ignorance that prevents progress. Teach them that if they WANT more they must DO more. Educate them both in school and at HOME. Raise them to be tolerant, open minded and to have pride in themselves. <br />
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People of all colors have hard times, fucked up childhoods, and obstacles to overcome. Why in the hell people want their kids to suffer their own mistakes I will NEVER understand. Can't they see that THEY are part of the problem??? Or is it that they do not care??? <br />
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If you WANT respect, EARN respect. Don't believe you deserve it because of how "bad-ass" you can behave and how loud you can yell. You are not earning respect, people are trying to get you to shut the fuck up! You are not helping your situation, you are making yourself look like an ASS! Don't be a stereotype! Or better yet, help to CHANGE the stereotype!<br />
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Don't they get that????<br />
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Don't teach your children to see Black/White/Asian/Mexican. Teach them to see friends, and family. Don't teach your kids to call someone a racist, show them how to lead by example and be friendly to everyone. Don't teach your child to bully, instead teach them compassion and kindness. And if you can't teach them any of that at least teach them how to read so maybe they will eventually learn it on their own!<br />
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I never taught Christopher to call people black and white, I taught him brown and peach. Until today he didn't even know that "race" meant "skin color." <br />
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Race is NEVER a factor for us when it comes to choosing our friends. Neither is sexual orientation, income level, education or music preference. We chose our friends and family based on how people TREAT us. I understand that may be a difficult concept for some people to grasp, but that's all there is to it. <br />
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I am on this soap box because today Christopher asked me what "racist" meant. After I explained what it meant I asked why he wanted to know. He explained that a BOY who has been PICKING on HIM all week called him a racist. Let me repeat that... this little brat has been the one picking on Christopher, yet CHRISTOPHER is being a racist??? Whether color is a factor in the bullying I can not say. This boy does have brown skin. He is also a trouble maker in the class room. He has a group of trouble maker friends, who all also happen to have brown skin. <br />
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Why does this fourth grade child know this word??? Why are his parents teaching him this mentality, or at the VERY LEAST, NOT teaching it to him???<br />
Are his parents of the ignorant-closed-minded-not-going-to-teach-their-children-any-better batch??? If so... why? I don't get it. It makes no sense to me and it PISSES me off. <br />
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I am so tired of people using race as either a trump card, pity party or excuse. It's NOT! If you CHOSE to be LOW CLASS, fine, but at least have the balls to call it what it is... LOW CLASS BY CHOICE.Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-28080017599098610562010-09-23T17:14:00.000-04:002010-09-23T17:14:16.293-04:00Yard SalePlease share this with all of your friends. <br />
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I am having a HUGE yard sale this weekend!<br />
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Military family that will be moving and needs to downsize. Items include home decor, books, clothes, toys, household items and more. <br />
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All prices negotiable. Come make me an offer, I want to sell it all! <br />
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Friday, September 24 AND Saturday, September 25 from 7 am - UNTIL... <br />
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4833 Texas Ave, Norfolk, Va. 23513<br />
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I also have a NEW Stamina CPS 9200 spin bike for sale - $250.00 <br />
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A HUGE 54 X 43 animal print picture for - $200.00 <br />
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And a big, hand made wooden doll house - $40<br />
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I have pictures available of the three items listed above if you are interested.Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-30510750833447420192010-09-19T20:02:00.000-04:002010-09-19T20:05:06.946-04:00I NEED '21 SECRETS'I recently began a journey of Love in my art journal. "Art Journal Love Letters" is a workshop created by Connie Hosvicka at Dirty Foot Prints Studio. I have already learned so much, but I still have so much to learn.<br />
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Connie recently announced that she will be discontinuing Art Journal Love Letters in order to open up bright new windows of opportunity for her students. Her newest project is the colaborative effort of 21 different artists, all with skill, talent and imagination. "21 Secrets" officially begins Ocotber 1, 2010 and will only be available through the end of the year. <br />
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I REALLY want to take this workshop!<br />
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Effy Wild, one of my favorite people, will be teaching one of the classes in the workshop. She always has a way of making me see something in myself I didn't know was there. Her class is designed to help artists see inside their souls and bring it to life in their journal. I have not yet been able to open up in my journal and I desperately want to be able to. This class is a MUST for me.<br />
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Paula Phillips' class is centered around doors and windows that will help hide the secrets with-in or accentuate a something special. This will also help make my art journal more interactive and give me a place to store special memories and momentos.<br />
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Connie Hosvicka, herself will be teaching one of the classes that will help me the most. Connie is all about teaching artists to be FEARLESS in their art. Her class will focus on getting your ideas out of your head and onto the page without holding back. I have a major problem with holding back and can use all of the coaxing I can get! <br />
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I not only WANT to take this workshop, I NEED to take it. I WANT to learn as many techniques as I can. I WANT to play in my art journal and make a mess and be OK with the messy. I NEED to break free and explore my inner most thoughts, feelings, secrets and fears.<br />
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Go to Connie's website and have a look around. To learn more about "21 Secrets" including who all 21 artists/teachers will be, follow this link:<br />
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http://www.dirtyfootprintsworkshops.com/2008/09/21-secrets-art-journal-playground.html<br />
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Once at the site, you can sign up to take the class and you can sign me up to take it with you! :DEdiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-21772771779698325642010-09-09T00:28:00.000-04:002010-09-09T00:28:50.000-04:00Things to come...I want to be able to make my own hours, choose who I work with, help people change their lives and in the process, contribute to the family income. <br />
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I want to help women achieve their goals. I want to help them overcome obstacles. I want them to learn to express themselves in a healthy, empowering manner. I want to help them be the best they can be. I want them to have a safe place to talk openly about their struggles while finding support from others who stand on common ground. I want a community.<br />
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I have a plan.<br />
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I am in the process of developing this community. It will combine healthy lifestyle choices with healing creativity. It will be the meeting place of like minded individuals to encourage, praise and support one another. It will be a place of success stories and moral support. It will be a place to celebrate victories both big and small. It will be a place of change, and growth.<br />
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I have a goal, an idea. I can see it in my mind. I can feel the buzz of accomplishment. I can see it coming to life and a good life it will be.Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-46400057377123682682010-09-03T11:13:00.000-04:002010-09-03T12:40:13.647-04:00Need vs WantI NEED to have a yard sale. I have had all the left over stuff from my last yard sale all boxed up and sitting in the corner in my living room ALL summer.I was in Bahrain for two months and I have no furniture (because I sold most of at the last yard sale) so that hasn't been a big deal, until now. <br /><br />I need the money a yard sale would bring. I have a LOT of unexpected bills for the house thanks to the collapsed ceiling in my bed room. We also spent alot of money to get me to Bahrain. Not to mention shopping while I was there, the trip home, getting the kitten home and then restocking the groceries and gas tank once I returned to the states. <br /><br />I feel the STRONG need to purge.While living in Bahrain I realized how much CRAP we have and how little of it we truly need. Less is more.<br /><br />But here's the thing... I don't WANT to have a yard sale. I don't want the HASSLE of a yard sale. I would much rather drop all of this stuff off at Mystic Moon for donations and be done with it. That is what I USUALLY do after a yard sale anyway, but this time I had enough left overs for another big yard sale so I decided to keep it and try one more time before donating. <br /><br />I would much rather take the 'easy' road right now. I have enough complications as it is and I just want this one thing to be done and over with. I am battling with myself over this. Should I just do what I need to, and have a yard sale next weekend or, do I load up the little blue toaster, clear the clutter and help out someone in need.<br /><br />Having said all of this, I know myself and I know I will do what is NEEDED. I know I will suck it up and have the yard sale. I know I will lug all of this stuff in and out again for two to three days in a row and I know that I will make some much needed money. But I REEEEEEally don't WANT to.Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-43886351763825814692010-03-09T23:26:00.000-05:002010-03-10T00:08:39.058-05:00Little thingsIt's the little things that make me happy. I often hear people say this, but it is usually dripping with sarcasm, cynicism, or as a means to belittle. I, on the other hand, feel great joy in the little things. <br /><br />For example; my husband ran a Valentine's Day race in my honor, even though he was in another country at the time. He then sent me the run shirt as a gift. That simple gesture made my heart swell with joy. <br /><br />Today I heard the birds singing and felt the sun shining just a bit brighter and warmer than it has been all Winter. I smiled with the knowledge that Spring is just around the corner.<br /><br />After having a miserable day, a couple of dear friends were able to make me laugh and see better days ahead.<br /><br />Each of these little things brought me immense happiness. They didn't cost anything. They weren't flashy and they didn't require much effort, yet the bliss I felt was pure and genuine.<br /><br />Take the time to revel in the little things when you can for you never know when they may be a big thing in disguise.Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-56531651036484825512010-01-16T23:59:00.001-05:002010-01-17T00:09:38.771-05:00GiftsOn the night of the New Moon, I went to an open ritual that was held at the hub of our pagan community. Since it was an open ritual, I am not divulging any secrets here.<br /><br /> The ritual took us into the underworld. We were ushered through the gates of hell where we had to pay a toll of safe passage. We were lead by the hounds of hell to the place we would commune with Hecate. We were allowed to ask a question if we wanted, but we were not permitted to ask for clarification or more information. <br /> <br /> When it was my turn to speak to Hecate, I knelt before the "Goddess." Knowing She would be able to understand the intricacies of my question. I simply asked if my gifts were being returned to me. Hecate's response was "When you need me, I will be there."<br />Confused, and slightly disappointed, I was shuffled away by one of the hell hounds.<br /><br /> I pondered this response all night and all the next day. Maybe Hecate hadn't fully understood what I had asked. <br /><br /> Still I pondered.<br /><br /> I tell you that story to tell you this:<br /> Today I went into my local book exchange, which I frequent very regularly. and I was browsing the meager selection of New Age/Pagan/Wicca/ Occult section of the store. <br />There were the usual ghost stories, a large selection of Sylvia Browne, and surprisingly two different Scott Cunningham books, which I already own. I lifted my eyes and right there on the top shelf, staring back at me was a well cared for, revised and extended copy of "Drawing Down The Moon" by Margot Adler. <br /> <br /> It sang to me "Aaaaahhhh, Take me hoooooommmme." As I picked up my new found treasure I felt the weight of it. Not the number of lbs the book physically weighed, but the POWER and SPIRITUAL weight this book carries. <br /><br /> I heard the voice of Hecate again "When you need me, I will be there." And suddenly, a light bulb went off. I had asked if my innate gifts were being returned to me, and I believe that they are. What I hadn't realized before was the fact that I am receiving more gifts than I even realize. Signs that affirm everyday that I am on the correct path. Little "Aha!" moments that keep me wanting more. <br /><br /> I opened myself up again after MANY years behind psychic walls and I asked for my gifts to be returned. I have waited patiently and I am seeing that I was heard and acknowledged. I feel I am becoming more and more in tune every day. I still have a long way to go, but my eyes are open and I am ready for the journey. And I know the Goddess will be right there with me every step of the way.<br />Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-2269009099177241452009-12-22T22:10:00.001-05:002014-09-03T13:45:03.286-04:00An eye opening experienceRecently I wanted to create an amulet for someone and due to moon phases and time constraints I was unable to take to time to cast a circle in which I could add some protective magick. I decided that I did not need to physically cast circle, and instead I planned to visit my internal sacred space and complete my magical working there. The problem with this plan is that I am not the best ?meditater? in the world. My mind wanders. I can't get to my internal sacred space before I feel the need to run back and check to make sure I turned the oven off. <br />
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I had never actually taken the journey to my sacred space before, I had only created what it looked like. I have never even been able to relax enough to reach a meditative state! Yet for some reason I thought I would be able to reach alpha, journey to my internal sacred space, cast a circle, perform a magical working and make my way back all in my first REAL attempt. <br />
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Here is what I learned: That was a bad idea. <br />
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I had to struggle to even picture my internal space. I had to force the visualization of my circle casting. It wasn't until I actually picked up the amulet that I was able to even begin to focus on the energy needed for the magick. Once I physically held the item in my hands I was able to bring myself to the place I needed to be. <br />
I feel like the right energy went into the item and that I accomplished what I wanted to do, but I also feel like it could have been much more focused. I am happy with the final result, just not the journey to the finished product. <br />
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I do feel that the experience brought me to the realization that I can not just jump into meditation like I had planned, but that it is a learned skill that I will be working vigilantly to improve. <br />
Strangely enough it took the act of physically closing my eyes to have them spiritually opened. Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-4437427969652481782009-12-06T00:18:00.000-05:002014-09-03T13:43:26.959-04:00Ten days 'til lonelyI am sitting here tonight thinking about 15 things I need to be doing, projects I should be working on and emails I need to send. Yet, I can't bring myself to work on any of them. I am feeling the "winter blues." I have not felt this way in many years, but this year I am overwhelmed with sadness, anxiety and stress. Not because of the presents I feel obligated to buy or the bills that will accumulate, but because I am about to be alone. <br />
You see, my husband is in the military and he will be leaving our home in ten short days for a one year duty station in Bahrain. He will be going unaccompanied which means I will be here in the states alone. I won't technically be alone, I do have my son and I have friends and family around, but for all intents and purposes, I will be alone. <br />
My husband is my partner, my warm place, my best friend. I can be my true self, I can tell him anything and I feel safe when he is near. For the next year I will have to hold in all of the things I want to tell him until we can find a compatible time each day to chat on skype. I will have to put extra blankets on the bed to keep me warm at night instead of simply scooting over to steal his body heat. I will have to search and program all of my own shows to DVR. I am going to have to take out the garbage! Ugh!!! <br />
Granted, I am completely capable of doing all of these things on my own, it is just soooooo nice to have someone, no, not someone, my husband here with me to share these things with.<br />
Yes, I will have more time to read, but I won't be able to talk about the book as I am reading it. I will have more time to study and practice my path, but I won't be able to share my experiences and questions with him as they arise. I will have the entire house to myself, but... <br />
So I am sitting here thinking of all of the things I need to get done, but all I really want to do is sit on the sofa, snuggle up with my husband and enjoy these last ten days together before he has to leave. After all, my to-do list will still need to be done in eleven days.Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1351652932405684617.post-12517929128314121812009-11-18T00:12:00.000-05:002009-11-18T00:18:45.797-05:00Just a quick "hello."Well, here it is. My first blog entry. This is my spot to ramble, question and reflect. I plan to add entries every few days, but since this is new to me, I have never even owned a paper journal, I make no guarantees. Wish me luck!Ediehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14709474456747612722noreply@blogger.com0