As you know I am currently in Bahrain with my husband and son. The situation here has been precarious to say the least and some days it has been downright scary.
For weeks now, there have been tanks on every corner and masked men with guns everywhere. While coming out of the grocery store Christopher and I were affected by tear gas in the air. I don't recommend it. Due to having a tourist passport, I am supposed to leave the country for a few hours every 28 days to renew my visa. Normally that would not have been a problem, but with travel restrictions, we are concerned about being able to get back home on any given day. I was supposed to fly to Dubai last weekend, but because of protests, we were on lock down and told not to go near the airport at all.
Chris and I have been discussing the possibility of myself and Christopher returning to the States. Many factors have come into play here and we have finally made a decision.
I have decided to leave Bahrain and go back to Virginia and I am devastated. My heart is breaking and some days I feel like I can't breathe. I have been crying for days and I am still not sure I have made the right decision. I have never been torn like this on any decision in my entire life. I have always been indecisive, but when it comes to major life decisions, I ALWAYS know what I want. I go with my gut. This time, it is not that easy.
I want to stay here with my husband, but I have to think of my son. He and I are literally couped up in our house for days or weeks at a time. We are not allowed to go out in town and many places are closed or off limits. Essential travel only is recommended. My son, who is a social butterfly, has not been able to make friends because there are no friends to be found. I wouldn't let him out of my sight even if there were. He is homesick and WANTING to leave.
I am also tired of being stuck at home all the time and feeling unsafe. I do miss my friends and family, but I would be willing to suck all of that up to be able to be here with Chris.
We were supposed to be here until August and Chris is not due home until December. I have to separate and uproot our lives once again and it kills me. I am not ready to leave yet.
I am still torn and wondering if we have made the right decision.
This has been a roller coaster of a year and I feel like I am plummeting to the end.
I am completely heartbroken and disappointed :*(
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Art is My Meditation
Life here in Bahrain has not been very enjoyable lately. Due to protests and violence we have basically been on lock down. We have been advised to stay home and stay away from any 'activity.' Since I am not sure what I am allowed to say I have not been online much and I have to keep many thoughts to myself when I am online. I hate having to censor myself in this way, but our safety is more important than my opinion.
The upside to being couped up in my house is that I have had a good bit of time for arting :)I spend hours playing with paint, collage, stamps and gel medium.
Art is my meditation. My brain slows down,I am able to relax and I just lose myself in the process.
Art journaling has given me so much more than I ever could have expected. I never thought I would learn so much about who I am. I never thought I would heal so many wounds or experience so much forgiveness. My eyes and my heart are open and I am changing. I am learning to fogive myself for things that I have done, but more importanly, for things that I had no control over. I am learning to accept myself and love myself and I never thought that was possible.
My skills improve with every page and my creativity is really starting to blossom. I find myself thinking of new ideas all through out the day and I have several projects in mind for the coming months. The first of those projects is an altered book that I will begin working on today. It will be a tribute book using several techniques that are new to me. I will post pics to share my progress.
I also got an email with some VERY exciting art news, but I have to wait a few more days before I can share that secret.
On a side note,I have finally linked my blog to my Flickr account. Now all of my images can be viewed in one convenient spot :D
Now, I am off to work on my altered book!
The upside to being couped up in my house is that I have had a good bit of time for arting :)I spend hours playing with paint, collage, stamps and gel medium.
Art is my meditation. My brain slows down,I am able to relax and I just lose myself in the process.
Art journaling has given me so much more than I ever could have expected. I never thought I would learn so much about who I am. I never thought I would heal so many wounds or experience so much forgiveness. My eyes and my heart are open and I am changing. I am learning to fogive myself for things that I have done, but more importanly, for things that I had no control over. I am learning to accept myself and love myself and I never thought that was possible.
My skills improve with every page and my creativity is really starting to blossom. I find myself thinking of new ideas all through out the day and I have several projects in mind for the coming months. The first of those projects is an altered book that I will begin working on today. It will be a tribute book using several techniques that are new to me. I will post pics to share my progress.
I also got an email with some VERY exciting art news, but I have to wait a few more days before I can share that secret.
On a side note,I have finally linked my blog to my Flickr account. Now all of my images can be viewed in one convenient spot :D
Now, I am off to work on my altered book!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Discovering My Truth
It has been MONTHS since I last blogged and so much has happened!
Since moving to Bahrain I have had very little time for arting, much less blogging. Not for lack of desire, but lack of time.
Short recap...
As soon as I arrived in Bahrain, we were on the hunt for a new flat. The apartment was great, but it was not quite big enough and walking the dogs five times a day was a bit of a hassle.
Once we found our villa we started packing and preparing to move. The week we moved we also had car repairs, move out cleaning and inspections, new home shopping AND move in cleaning and unpacking to do. On top of all of that, I am home schooling Christopher for the first time which in its self is a full time job!
*WHEW*
I was so busy, but I still felt like I was forgetting something. Then it hit me...I was missing my art. I missed sitting down and just losing myself in the page. I have discovered that I NEED that. I didn't think I needed art, but the truth is... I do. I need art.
I have been working with truth alot this week. I am a member of the wild precious ning site (see link below) and one of the workshops I am currently involved in is called "The Truth Project." This workshop is all about discovering *your truth* on many different levels.
We are just finishing week one and I cannot believe how intense this first week was. I cried, I recoiled and I tried to run away from the deep issues that rushed to the surface. I did not want to answer the questions that were posed and I had no intention of sharing my dark side. Then about half way through the week I had a break through. I decided to open up, be honest with the group and more importantly, with myself. I did show my dark side, I did talk about painful subjects and I started looking for my truth. To be honest, I had NO idea what my truth was.
I started turning my 'blurts' into affirmations and I have been working diligently to silence my inner critic.
The prompt for the week was to art your truth. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do, but I did have the spark of a vision. When I first started the page I was so unhappy with it and I had to just let it sit. I felt like I needed to make it 'perfect.' I felt like it needed to be... more. I let it sit for two days before I went back to work on it again. When I started working on it again, I could see it slowly coming together and I knew it was right. It was perfect for me. It was my truth.
My truth is I have an extremely distorted view of myself. It's like I have on self hatred goggles. The truth is I need to take these goggles off. I need to see myself as I truly am and love what I see, no matter what.
If you are interested in discovering your truth, art journaling, poetry or any other form of artistic expression check out
http://wildprecious.ning.com/
Since moving to Bahrain I have had very little time for arting, much less blogging. Not for lack of desire, but lack of time.
Short recap...
As soon as I arrived in Bahrain, we were on the hunt for a new flat. The apartment was great, but it was not quite big enough and walking the dogs five times a day was a bit of a hassle.
Once we found our villa we started packing and preparing to move. The week we moved we also had car repairs, move out cleaning and inspections, new home shopping AND move in cleaning and unpacking to do. On top of all of that, I am home schooling Christopher for the first time which in its self is a full time job!
*WHEW*
I was so busy, but I still felt like I was forgetting something. Then it hit me...I was missing my art. I missed sitting down and just losing myself in the page. I have discovered that I NEED that. I didn't think I needed art, but the truth is... I do. I need art.
I have been working with truth alot this week. I am a member of the wild precious ning site (see link below) and one of the workshops I am currently involved in is called "The Truth Project." This workshop is all about discovering *your truth* on many different levels.
We are just finishing week one and I cannot believe how intense this first week was. I cried, I recoiled and I tried to run away from the deep issues that rushed to the surface. I did not want to answer the questions that were posed and I had no intention of sharing my dark side. Then about half way through the week I had a break through. I decided to open up, be honest with the group and more importantly, with myself. I did show my dark side, I did talk about painful subjects and I started looking for my truth. To be honest, I had NO idea what my truth was.
I started turning my 'blurts' into affirmations and I have been working diligently to silence my inner critic.
The prompt for the week was to art your truth. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do, but I did have the spark of a vision. When I first started the page I was so unhappy with it and I had to just let it sit. I felt like I needed to make it 'perfect.' I felt like it needed to be... more. I let it sit for two days before I went back to work on it again. When I started working on it again, I could see it slowly coming together and I knew it was right. It was perfect for me. It was my truth.
My truth is I have an extremely distorted view of myself. It's like I have on self hatred goggles. The truth is I need to take these goggles off. I need to see myself as I truly am and love what I see, no matter what.
If you are interested in discovering your truth, art journaling, poetry or any other form of artistic expression check out
http://wildprecious.ning.com/
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Ignorant people PISS me off!!!
I know there is a word or phrase to describe ignorant, closed minded, intolerant mother fuckers, but it escapes me at the moment.
People who were raised to believe that the world owes them something or is against them simply because of the color of their skin, income level or lack of education. And the worst part is, they are passing this bull shit mentality on to their children! If you WANT change MAKE change! If you want the world to treat you better then you need to DESERVE to be treated better! Don't pull that bullshit card out at every opportunity simply because YOU haven't made a better life for YOURSELF!!!
And if you want your kids to think differently TEACH them differently, SHOW them differently, make them BELIEVE differently! Don't let them spew the same ignorance that prevents progress. Teach them that if they WANT more they must DO more. Educate them both in school and at HOME. Raise them to be tolerant, open minded and to have pride in themselves.
People of all colors have hard times, fucked up childhoods, and obstacles to overcome. Why in the hell people want their kids to suffer their own mistakes I will NEVER understand. Can't they see that THEY are part of the problem??? Or is it that they do not care???
If you WANT respect, EARN respect. Don't believe you deserve it because of how "bad-ass" you can behave and how loud you can yell. You are not earning respect, people are trying to get you to shut the fuck up! You are not helping your situation, you are making yourself look like an ASS! Don't be a stereotype! Or better yet, help to CHANGE the stereotype!
Don't they get that????
Don't teach your children to see Black/White/Asian/Mexican. Teach them to see friends, and family. Don't teach your kids to call someone a racist, show them how to lead by example and be friendly to everyone. Don't teach your child to bully, instead teach them compassion and kindness. And if you can't teach them any of that at least teach them how to read so maybe they will eventually learn it on their own!
I never taught Christopher to call people black and white, I taught him brown and peach. Until today he didn't even know that "race" meant "skin color."
Race is NEVER a factor for us when it comes to choosing our friends. Neither is sexual orientation, income level, education or music preference. We chose our friends and family based on how people TREAT us. I understand that may be a difficult concept for some people to grasp, but that's all there is to it.
I am on this soap box because today Christopher asked me what "racist" meant. After I explained what it meant I asked why he wanted to know. He explained that a BOY who has been PICKING on HIM all week called him a racist. Let me repeat that... this little brat has been the one picking on Christopher, yet CHRISTOPHER is being a racist??? Whether color is a factor in the bullying I can not say. This boy does have brown skin. He is also a trouble maker in the class room. He has a group of trouble maker friends, who all also happen to have brown skin.
Why does this fourth grade child know this word??? Why are his parents teaching him this mentality, or at the VERY LEAST, NOT teaching it to him???
Are his parents of the ignorant-closed-minded-not-going-to-teach-their-children-any-better batch??? If so... why? I don't get it. It makes no sense to me and it PISSES me off.
I am so tired of people using race as either a trump card, pity party or excuse. It's NOT! If you CHOSE to be LOW CLASS, fine, but at least have the balls to call it what it is... LOW CLASS BY CHOICE.
People who were raised to believe that the world owes them something or is against them simply because of the color of their skin, income level or lack of education. And the worst part is, they are passing this bull shit mentality on to their children! If you WANT change MAKE change! If you want the world to treat you better then you need to DESERVE to be treated better! Don't pull that bullshit card out at every opportunity simply because YOU haven't made a better life for YOURSELF!!!
And if you want your kids to think differently TEACH them differently, SHOW them differently, make them BELIEVE differently! Don't let them spew the same ignorance that prevents progress. Teach them that if they WANT more they must DO more. Educate them both in school and at HOME. Raise them to be tolerant, open minded and to have pride in themselves.
People of all colors have hard times, fucked up childhoods, and obstacles to overcome. Why in the hell people want their kids to suffer their own mistakes I will NEVER understand. Can't they see that THEY are part of the problem??? Or is it that they do not care???
If you WANT respect, EARN respect. Don't believe you deserve it because of how "bad-ass" you can behave and how loud you can yell. You are not earning respect, people are trying to get you to shut the fuck up! You are not helping your situation, you are making yourself look like an ASS! Don't be a stereotype! Or better yet, help to CHANGE the stereotype!
Don't they get that????
Don't teach your children to see Black/White/Asian/Mexican. Teach them to see friends, and family. Don't teach your kids to call someone a racist, show them how to lead by example and be friendly to everyone. Don't teach your child to bully, instead teach them compassion and kindness. And if you can't teach them any of that at least teach them how to read so maybe they will eventually learn it on their own!
I never taught Christopher to call people black and white, I taught him brown and peach. Until today he didn't even know that "race" meant "skin color."
Race is NEVER a factor for us when it comes to choosing our friends. Neither is sexual orientation, income level, education or music preference. We chose our friends and family based on how people TREAT us. I understand that may be a difficult concept for some people to grasp, but that's all there is to it.
I am on this soap box because today Christopher asked me what "racist" meant. After I explained what it meant I asked why he wanted to know. He explained that a BOY who has been PICKING on HIM all week called him a racist. Let me repeat that... this little brat has been the one picking on Christopher, yet CHRISTOPHER is being a racist??? Whether color is a factor in the bullying I can not say. This boy does have brown skin. He is also a trouble maker in the class room. He has a group of trouble maker friends, who all also happen to have brown skin.
Why does this fourth grade child know this word??? Why are his parents teaching him this mentality, or at the VERY LEAST, NOT teaching it to him???
Are his parents of the ignorant-closed-minded-not-going-to-teach-their-children-any-better batch??? If so... why? I don't get it. It makes no sense to me and it PISSES me off.
I am so tired of people using race as either a trump card, pity party or excuse. It's NOT! If you CHOSE to be LOW CLASS, fine, but at least have the balls to call it what it is... LOW CLASS BY CHOICE.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Yard Sale
Please share this with all of your friends.
I am having a HUGE yard sale this weekend!
Military family that will be moving and needs to downsize. Items include home decor, books, clothes, toys, household items and more.
All prices negotiable. Come make me an offer, I want to sell it all!
Friday, September 24 AND Saturday, September 25 from 7 am - UNTIL...
4833 Texas Ave, Norfolk, Va. 23513
I also have a NEW Stamina CPS 9200 spin bike for sale - $250.00
A HUGE 54 X 43 animal print picture for - $200.00
And a big, hand made wooden doll house - $40
I have pictures available of the three items listed above if you are interested.
I am having a HUGE yard sale this weekend!
Military family that will be moving and needs to downsize. Items include home decor, books, clothes, toys, household items and more.
All prices negotiable. Come make me an offer, I want to sell it all!
Friday, September 24 AND Saturday, September 25 from 7 am - UNTIL...
4833 Texas Ave, Norfolk, Va. 23513
I also have a NEW Stamina CPS 9200 spin bike for sale - $250.00
A HUGE 54 X 43 animal print picture for - $200.00
And a big, hand made wooden doll house - $40
I have pictures available of the three items listed above if you are interested.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
I NEED '21 SECRETS'
I recently began a journey of Love in my art journal. "Art Journal Love Letters" is a workshop created by Connie Hosvicka at Dirty Foot Prints Studio. I have already learned so much, but I still have so much to learn.
Connie recently announced that she will be discontinuing Art Journal Love Letters in order to open up bright new windows of opportunity for her students. Her newest project is the colaborative effort of 21 different artists, all with skill, talent and imagination. "21 Secrets" officially begins Ocotber 1, 2010 and will only be available through the end of the year.
I REALLY want to take this workshop!
Effy Wild, one of my favorite people, will be teaching one of the classes in the workshop. She always has a way of making me see something in myself I didn't know was there. Her class is designed to help artists see inside their souls and bring it to life in their journal. I have not yet been able to open up in my journal and I desperately want to be able to. This class is a MUST for me.
Paula Phillips' class is centered around doors and windows that will help hide the secrets with-in or accentuate a something special. This will also help make my art journal more interactive and give me a place to store special memories and momentos.
Connie Hosvicka, herself will be teaching one of the classes that will help me the most. Connie is all about teaching artists to be FEARLESS in their art. Her class will focus on getting your ideas out of your head and onto the page without holding back. I have a major problem with holding back and can use all of the coaxing I can get!
I not only WANT to take this workshop, I NEED to take it. I WANT to learn as many techniques as I can. I WANT to play in my art journal and make a mess and be OK with the messy. I NEED to break free and explore my inner most thoughts, feelings, secrets and fears.
Go to Connie's website and have a look around. To learn more about "21 Secrets" including who all 21 artists/teachers will be, follow this link:
http://www.dirtyfootprintsworkshops.com/2008/09/21-secrets-art-journal-playground.html
Once at the site, you can sign up to take the class and you can sign me up to take it with you! :D
Connie recently announced that she will be discontinuing Art Journal Love Letters in order to open up bright new windows of opportunity for her students. Her newest project is the colaborative effort of 21 different artists, all with skill, talent and imagination. "21 Secrets" officially begins Ocotber 1, 2010 and will only be available through the end of the year.
I REALLY want to take this workshop!
Effy Wild, one of my favorite people, will be teaching one of the classes in the workshop. She always has a way of making me see something in myself I didn't know was there. Her class is designed to help artists see inside their souls and bring it to life in their journal. I have not yet been able to open up in my journal and I desperately want to be able to. This class is a MUST for me.
Paula Phillips' class is centered around doors and windows that will help hide the secrets with-in or accentuate a something special. This will also help make my art journal more interactive and give me a place to store special memories and momentos.
Connie Hosvicka, herself will be teaching one of the classes that will help me the most. Connie is all about teaching artists to be FEARLESS in their art. Her class will focus on getting your ideas out of your head and onto the page without holding back. I have a major problem with holding back and can use all of the coaxing I can get!
I not only WANT to take this workshop, I NEED to take it. I WANT to learn as many techniques as I can. I WANT to play in my art journal and make a mess and be OK with the messy. I NEED to break free and explore my inner most thoughts, feelings, secrets and fears.
Go to Connie's website and have a look around. To learn more about "21 Secrets" including who all 21 artists/teachers will be, follow this link:
http://www.dirtyfootprintsworkshops.com/2008/09/21-secrets-art-journal-playground.html
Once at the site, you can sign up to take the class and you can sign me up to take it with you! :D
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Things to come...
I want to be able to make my own hours, choose who I work with, help people change their lives and in the process, contribute to the family income.
I want to help women achieve their goals. I want to help them overcome obstacles. I want them to learn to express themselves in a healthy, empowering manner. I want to help them be the best they can be. I want them to have a safe place to talk openly about their struggles while finding support from others who stand on common ground. I want a community.
I have a plan.
I am in the process of developing this community. It will combine healthy lifestyle choices with healing creativity. It will be the meeting place of like minded individuals to encourage, praise and support one another. It will be a place of success stories and moral support. It will be a place to celebrate victories both big and small. It will be a place of change, and growth.
I have a goal, an idea. I can see it in my mind. I can feel the buzz of accomplishment. I can see it coming to life and a good life it will be.
I want to help women achieve their goals. I want to help them overcome obstacles. I want them to learn to express themselves in a healthy, empowering manner. I want to help them be the best they can be. I want them to have a safe place to talk openly about their struggles while finding support from others who stand on common ground. I want a community.
I have a plan.
I am in the process of developing this community. It will combine healthy lifestyle choices with healing creativity. It will be the meeting place of like minded individuals to encourage, praise and support one another. It will be a place of success stories and moral support. It will be a place to celebrate victories both big and small. It will be a place of change, and growth.
I have a goal, an idea. I can see it in my mind. I can feel the buzz of accomplishment. I can see it coming to life and a good life it will be.
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