On the night of the New Moon, I went to an open ritual that was held at the hub of our pagan community. Since it was an open ritual, I am not divulging any secrets here.
The ritual took us into the underworld. We were ushered through the gates of hell where we had to pay a toll of safe passage. We were lead by the hounds of hell to the place we would commune with Hecate. We were allowed to ask a question if we wanted, but we were not permitted to ask for clarification or more information.
When it was my turn to speak to Hecate, I knelt before the "Goddess." Knowing She would be able to understand the intricacies of my question. I simply asked if my gifts were being returned to me. Hecate's response was "When you need me, I will be there."
Confused, and slightly disappointed, I was shuffled away by one of the hell hounds.
I pondered this response all night and all the next day. Maybe Hecate hadn't fully understood what I had asked.
Still I pondered.
I tell you that story to tell you this:
Today I went into my local book exchange, which I frequent very regularly. and I was browsing the meager selection of New Age/Pagan/Wicca/ Occult section of the store.
There were the usual ghost stories, a large selection of Sylvia Browne, and surprisingly two different Scott Cunningham books, which I already own. I lifted my eyes and right there on the top shelf, staring back at me was a well cared for, revised and extended copy of "Drawing Down The Moon" by Margot Adler.
It sang to me "Aaaaahhhh, Take me hoooooommmme." As I picked up my new found treasure I felt the weight of it. Not the number of lbs the book physically weighed, but the POWER and SPIRITUAL weight this book carries.
I heard the voice of Hecate again "When you need me, I will be there." And suddenly, a light bulb went off. I had asked if my innate gifts were being returned to me, and I believe that they are. What I hadn't realized before was the fact that I am receiving more gifts than I even realize. Signs that affirm everyday that I am on the correct path. Little "Aha!" moments that keep me wanting more.
I opened myself up again after MANY years behind psychic walls and I asked for my gifts to be returned. I have waited patiently and I am seeing that I was heard and acknowledged. I feel I am becoming more and more in tune every day. I still have a long way to go, but my eyes are open and I am ready for the journey. And I know the Goddess will be right there with me every step of the way.