As you know I am currently in Bahrain with my husband and son. The situation here has been precarious to say the least and some days it has been downright scary.
For weeks now, there have been tanks on every corner and masked men with guns everywhere. While coming out of the grocery store Christopher and I were affected by tear gas in the air. I don't recommend it. Due to having a tourist passport, I am supposed to leave the country for a few hours every 28 days to renew my visa. Normally that would not have been a problem, but with travel restrictions, we are concerned about being able to get back home on any given day. I was supposed to fly to Dubai last weekend, but because of protests, we were on lock down and told not to go near the airport at all.
Chris and I have been discussing the possibility of myself and Christopher returning to the States. Many factors have come into play here and we have finally made a decision.
I have decided to leave Bahrain and go back to Virginia and I am devastated. My heart is breaking and some days I feel like I can't breathe. I have been crying for days and I am still not sure I have made the right decision. I have never been torn like this on any decision in my entire life. I have always been indecisive, but when it comes to major life decisions, I ALWAYS know what I want. I go with my gut. This time, it is not that easy.
I want to stay here with my husband, but I have to think of my son. He and I are literally couped up in our house for days or weeks at a time. We are not allowed to go out in town and many places are closed or off limits. Essential travel only is recommended. My son, who is a social butterfly, has not been able to make friends because there are no friends to be found. I wouldn't let him out of my sight even if there were. He is homesick and WANTING to leave.
I am also tired of being stuck at home all the time and feeling unsafe. I do miss my friends and family, but I would be willing to suck all of that up to be able to be here with Chris.
We were supposed to be here until August and Chris is not due home until December. I have to separate and uproot our lives once again and it kills me. I am not ready to leave yet.
I am still torn and wondering if we have made the right decision.
This has been a roller coaster of a year and I feel like I am plummeting to the end.
I am completely heartbroken and disappointed :*(