I am sitting here tonight thinking about 15 things I need to be doing, projects I should be working on and emails I need to send. Yet, I can't bring myself to work on any of them. I am feeling the "winter blues." I have not felt this way in many years, but this year I am overwhelmed with sadness, anxiety and stress. Not because of the presents I feel obligated to buy or the bills that will accumulate, but because I am about to be alone.
You see, my husband is in the military and he will be leaving our home in ten short days for a one year duty station in Bahrain. He will be going unaccompanied which means I will be here in the states alone. I won't technically be alone, I do have my son and I have friends and family around, but for all intents and purposes, I will be alone.
My husband is my partner, my warm place, my best friend. I can be my true self, I can tell him anything and I feel safe when he is near. For the next year I will have to hold in all of the things I want to tell him until we can find a compatible time each day to chat on skype. I will have to put extra blankets on the bed to keep me warm at night instead of simply scooting over to steal his body heat. I will have to search and program all of my own shows to DVR. I am going to have to take out the garbage! Ugh!!!
Granted, I am completely capable of doing all of these things on my own, it is just soooooo nice to have someone, no, not someone, my husband here with me to share these things with.
Yes, I will have more time to read, but I won't be able to talk about the book as I am reading it. I will have more time to study and practice my path, but I won't be able to share my experiences and questions with him as they arise. I will have the entire house to myself, but...
So I am sitting here thinking of all of the things I need to get done, but all I really want to do is sit on the sofa, snuggle up with my husband and enjoy these last ten days together before he has to leave. After all, my to-do list will still need to be done in eleven days.
Aww :( I know how you feel, my dad is in the military and my boyfriend is just about to join. Its hard, especially during the winter months when you're already pretty down
ReplyDeleteBut just think of how amazing it will be when he comes back! You guys will have so many stories to tell each other.